A Ugandan professor, Stella posted this on Facebook: “So I talked about the tip of the c0ndom and how it is important to squeeze out the air before rolling it up the waiting specimen. We practiced squeezing gently in order not to tear the tip. She asked about how women with long varnished finger-nails squeeze out the air without tearing the condom. I referred her to her auntie with long varnished finger-nails. God bless their next meeting!
And then I talked about disposing of the condom after using it. I was careful not to leave out any age-appropriate detail of condom-use for my darling daughter. And then I asked if she had any question.
“Yes, Mama Stella,” she said enthusiastically. “I have a question.”
“What do you want to know?” I asked with a sense of foreboding.
“So, how big does the condom become if I blow it Mama?” She asked.
“Oh, big, I guess,” I replied cautiously.
“Please, please, please Mama Stella, can I blow it and see?” she asked.
“Sure. Here,” I said as I held out a condom.
“Eeeooww,” she made a face at the oily lube on the condom. “For smooth entry and travel,” I explained.
And then my daughter blew and blew and blew the condom. It got much bigger than the balloons we usually blow to decorate our party-rooms. She put it onto her belly-button and it nearly touched the floor. We laughed at the joke. And then, just as the child she is, my daughter began to play catch with the blown condom. She threw it up into the air and reached up to get it. Our condom talk was over!”